Solari
by Red Ink Madame
Summary: As her fingers brush against the engraved etchings of the hardened stone. She realizes that she misses him more than she ever thought possible. He'd always been a constant in her life since her days at Oxford.


_**A/N:** I've placed the timeline for this story between Tempus and Accolyte. So there may be spoilers. Though vague at best. I'm also basing story on the assumption that John is dead as mentioned by Christopher Heyerdahl._

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><p>As her fingers brush against the engraved etchings of the hardened stone. She realizes that she misses him more than she ever thought possible. He'd always been a constant in her life since her days at Oxford. He'd been there with her in her triumphs and with her in her sorrow. But he like Nigel and now John, had faded away. Leaving behind, Nikola and herself as the only remaining members of the five.<p>

She'd known that his death was a possibility. The source blood wasn't a certain defense against death. But yet she'd fooled herself with the naive knowledge that he would indeed live to see another day. Not bearing the thought that perhaps one day, she would live to see that day without him.

"I miss you terribly James." She whispers in the softest of tones as she lowers herself to her knees. Her fingers slowly tracing each letter as though the simple act of touching them will bring his presence back to her.

It's his presence she needs now more than ever. It seems like the cruelest of fates that just a mere 113 years ago, she was with him once more. His presence surrounding her as she fought to stop Adam from altering the timeline.

Perhaps if she'd given into the temptation to alter the timeline, he would be with her now and not six-feet-under. But she'd been resolute in her determination that her presence would have a minimal effect on the alteration of the timeline.

_It __was __simply __how it __had __to __be._Her resolution, her only savior against the curse of her longevity and now time-travel.

"You were always far too brilliant for this world James, more so than any of us. I know you saw the source a blood as a wonder to behold. But it's nothing more than a curse. I've lost Nigel, Ashley, John and yourself. Low and behold Nikola kills himself one of these days." She lets out a bitter chuckle at the knowledge that one day soon, Nikola may run out of lives and she may not able to rescue him in time or at all.

It scares her that she maybe the only one to live out the legacy of the five. That she'll be accustomed to a life without the friends she's come to love and cherish as her family. She's already lost so much. Payed the highest of prices for eternal life. A life she's not sure she wants. Despite the love for her work, her sanctuary and the people within. Eventually Kate and Will will pass. She's not sure if Kate will return to the Sanctuary or how long Will remain her loyal protege. She wonders how long it will be before her dear friend will finally seek his freedom else where or how long it will before Henry will leave to find a place of his own with Erika and the child that will eventually make it's way into the world.

She can't help the tears that fall, the years of solitude and the added pressure of now having to steer the sanctuary network into a new and uncertain direction, weighing heavily on her. An unbearable weight, she can no longer shoulder on her own.

As the sky turns and the droplets on her face no longer her tears, she slowly and reluctantly relinquishes her touch from the hardened stone. Her knees protesting slightly at the sudden movement as she stands.

"Goodbye James." She whispers as she steps back. Turning as she makes her way through the darkened sky.

_We may race and we may run..._

_We'll not undo what has been done..._

_Or change the moment when it's gone..._

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><p><em><strong>AN:**The last three lines come from a song called The Other Side by David Gray. It's certainly not the first time i've used this song for a story. There's just something in this song that resonates within me. Also the title for this story comes from the latin word Solari meaning 'to console'. _


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